False Starts & Broken Hearts

False Starts & Broken Hearts

I need someone to explain the inner workings of a man's brain, like yesterday. The guy I was best friends with (and hooking up with) was talking to a new girl while we were still “involved”. She has absolutely no idea the things he has said about her, and it makes me feel kinda bad. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions about people based on looks, personality, and everything else, but if I knew that my boyfriend openly stated his ex was hotter than me, I think I'd end it. And who’s going to tell her that while she was begging him to f**k her, he was begging to f**k me.

Let me just say that they were not together yet, nor did I sleep with him. I am not a homewrecker (although all of my friends call it home improvement). I know what you're thinking: “That's mean”, “you're not a girl's girl”, or “What's your problem”, but don't try and act like you're better than me because you don't admit your thoughts out loud. You cannot tell me that if your best friend (who you are in love with) started telling you about another girl while you were mid-hookup, you wouldn't be fuming.

I spent months convincing myself that I was better than her in every way and made my friends listen to me till their ears bled. But today, I had a fantastic experience that I would like to share. His girlfriend works in the back of a fast-food restaurant, and with this specific chain, I have come to learn that they don't put pretty people in the back (back of house = “ugly”). I was picking up my friend's mobile order, AND GUESS WHO MAKES EYE CONTACT WITH ME WHILE SHE IS SLINGING MY FRIES?! Yes, it's exactly who you think it is. They keep her and the rest of the back-of-house workers behind what could be compared to metal bars. There is something so satisfying about being served by the girl you blame your downfall on.

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1 comment

omfg this is so funny


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